Porcelain Doll
by AnatayLee
Summary: The porcelain doll feels no difference from her throat nor her stomach, both in knots and both feel as if any minute they will burst and fall to the ground in a million pieces.
1. o1

A/N: This first chapter is a little depressing. When you read about Amu's past life at least, so prepare yourself for her decayed fairytale. Honestly I don't know if I want this to be a amuto or tadamu story. I'm leaning towards a regular ikutoxamu relationship, but time will tell. Love triangles, ooh~!

Disclaimer: Oh please. This is fanfiction, get a life if you don't know that I don't own shugo chara.

Credits: The poem that I'll be using is called Dollface/Real Girl by Anya AlkayevVolkov for the chapter lines.

WARNING: This story will be heart wrenching. Your chest will hurt, or is suppose to, while continuing this fic. This is why it is labeled under angst. I may or may not turn this into a fairy tale. So yeah, Ikuto or Tadase can drop dead anytime.

* * *

><p>Chapter one: <em>The millions of tiny faces she wears, each completely different for each person she lets into her life.<em>

The seniors and every other grade in Seiyo's private school for girls brother school called her 'the porcelain doll of class C3'. The statuesque beauty with the unnatural carnation drenched hair that apparently violated the school rules. All anyone knew was the girl's unofficial surname, which was Hinamori. She had been discharged from the local hospital three months ago, to join Seiyo High, an exclusive school for those who are absolute geniuses that earned their scholarships, and those who's parents could buy a neighborhood of mansion's if they wanted to. During the few months that she spent at this particular school, even though everyone's eyes shown an invisible spotlight on her, she never spoke.

Throughout one week, when the immature and pampered girl's of class B2 were probably on their periods, their actions were a little harsher than usual. Which meant some sort of bullying on their older girl's parts, and of course, their curiosity was like everyone else's. All focused on the doll. When their forged friendship conversations didn't get as much as a blink from the girl, they silently made it publicity known to the entire school that they did not approve of Hinamori. The trash that was littered around her desk, the countless spiral notebooks that she had to replace, and all the other vial and inappropriate acts and behavior that was shown even in class, was the solid evidence that even and idiot could fit together.

"Seiyo high offers complete security and protection for each and every student. This not only includes physical protection, but verbal as well." Yeah right.

But Hinamori wasn't called a doll for her appearance, it was her dull but undeniably lovely personality and the way she carried herself that welcomed the label with open arms. And so she lived up to everyone's expectation and silently suffered, if she could even really feel emotions. The porcelain doll did not utter one word of irritation or defeat, she did not let the voids of indifference that served as her eyes gossip about her feelings, instead her lifeless body took long strides everyday, carrying on like always. Igniting a new wave of fury in all the classes of B2. But the truth was that she could not acknowledge the difference of the way the females treated her before this incident and now. She could not acknowledge their existence at all.

Just like a doll.

The hospital was her home. She had lived in a room with one large window that served her more use than the t.v that played for the other patients. She was suppose to live in the hospital forever, because of the condition she was in. When she was younger, her father had taken her out on a drive for the first day of first grade, but then something unexpected happened during the ride. In conclusion, Hinamori was rushed to the hospital. Ah. No, she was not suppose to live in the hospital forever. She was suppose to be be dead.

Her heart had stopped.

Just for three minutes or so, but it had stopped, and those were the longest three minutes that her poor mother had witnessed. Of course her father didn't have a care in the world for her. He was out drinking again with his coworker, being the socialpath that he was. Hinamori had caught the doctor striking up a question with her father after he gave in to her mother's begging, for him to come to the hospital and visit his daughter. It was something about how weird it was that he didn't have a bruise on him anywhere, but his daughter had sunken into a concussion and managed to have a few minutes of heart failure.

Around 2004 was the year when everyone knew that Hinamori's father was a socialpath. He had been sent to jail for attempted murder, leaving his wife alone to sink into depression. Apparently, a man offered her father five million dollars for a young girl's body for his sick obsession of grotesque dolls that were built by actual rotten body parts. Her age had to be younger than twelve, since eleven was already pushing it.

After a while the man who was really responsible for this plan, stepped forward to announce his part in the attempted murder and committed suicide from the guilt. In his will, he had left the millions and millions of dollars for the Hinamori family.

But by then it was too late, and Hinamori's mother had gone crazy from all the tragedies. Eventually, she calmed down, but still wasn't in the right sort of condition to stay as her daughter's guardian. So before the day she disappeared from the hospital, she begged her childhood best friend to take Hinamori under his wing. Tsukasa was a very understanding and sympathetic man, so he managed to coax his wife into adopting the young girl.

Although the weird thing is, till this day the two have not met. Because it was not needed, due to certain arrangements. She would be sent to Seiyo High-school where her education would not be disturbed by boys, to catch up on her studies and live in the apartment that the wife of Tsukasa's friend owned until they found her mother. The forty year old woman had fled from the hospital by jumping out the window and magically escaping the security camera's watchful eyes. Tsukasa was not surprised though. Midori was always good at running away from everything that became too hard for her to handle. Just like their high school romance.

If you think that this story explained her lifeless personality, then congratulations. Welcome to the tight club of those who knew of the one and only victim Hinamori. And don't listen to the rumors about how she got her hair color, blood did not cause such a brilliant shade of breath taking hair to bloom.

Of course you would wonder why Hinamori's classmates would treat her so unfairly if they knew her horrid past. But the thing is that they don't.

They don't even know her first name.

All they knew was that she was the Porcelain Doll of Class C3. And she needed to disappear before the day that Seiyo's brother school came over for a visit.

* * *

><p>AN: This is a very short prologue sort of introducing chapter, I know. I'll work harder when I have better ideas to squeeze in there. Look forward to the next chapter if you're intrigued, a love interest of Amu's will appear. c: Whether its Tadase or Ikuto, idk. We'll see.

Reviews and some encouragement are welcomed! c: I hope you enjoyed this. As you can see, I don't use a lot of long and fancy words that make me seem like I'm smarter than you all. So please don't expect me to shift into some sort of twilight novel author.

Definitions;  
>Socialpath<br>A sociopath is someone for whom it is impossible to feel empathy for other people. It is a mental disorder. People like this can't see others' point of view- they see themselves as the center of everything. It's not their fault-they cannot help it. There is something physically wrong with their brain that renders them incapable of feeling regret, sorrow, even happiness. This can cause them to do hurtful, even violent things to other people because they honestly do not know that it hurts them.


	2. o2

A/N: Thank you for all the support, and especially to the reviewers; you guys are wonderful. Review replies will be at the end of the story if you're curios c: & I think I should really put the rating back to M xD.

Okay so I lied. Shes not meeting any love interests this chapter. But shes hearing one. ;)

WARNING: Kso. Angst. Right. Legoo~

* * *

><p>Chapter two: <em>You can make her like a diamond, multi-faceted, she'll sparkle.<em>

Usually, class B2 would come over to spend a little "quality time" with class C3 for group activities such as debate and school spirit competitions. Their time spent together would be a hour and a half, to generate a clean positive atmosphere between the two. But of course, this disgusting illustration is not what occurs during the period of time that they spend together. What I'm trying to say is, ... block C and B have a general dislike for each other. One that can not be cured so easily by the insignificant waste of time that the ignorant school manages to squeeze in. And honestly, it wasn't really the student's faults that created this abnormal sort of impression. Blame it on the envious juvenile teachers.

But back to the main subject, about the lovely memories that takes place every time the two classes are conjoined, today was not an exception for the visits.

"Oh, Nikaidou," Yukari purred after the familiar brunette materialized with his students trailing along, shifting her weight to empathize her luscious pale maroon hair grazing against her shoulders and the sultry expression that she wore so well whenever her ex appeared. "You're back again? What a shame. I was hoping to see the handsome substitute again."

"Kazuomi?" The soft smile on the man's face contorted into a smug smirk while he pushed the middle aged woman out of the way. "You're so silly. You're a million years too early to marry a man like that. If you want to be useful, buy him a coffin. He'll need one pretty soon." Yukari scowled as her ex's students started filing in while giggling. Yuu snickered. "Now now, no need to be butthurt over that small little mistake, right?"

"Oh my. I don't think I'd use the word 'butthurt' to explain our situation. I think that's the word to explain your little affair with the chairman, no?" Yukari smiled when finally class C3 laughed, proud to have her as a teacher. Of course they didn't know that she was grinding a knife in Yuu's back by opening the past again. The man had left her to 'explore' all his other sexual options. Of course he realized that he liked men. As friends. And women, well, he was a proudly straight man.

"Tut tut, Yukari. There are childre-" Yuu's face portrayed the very explanation of a vulnerable man, with his surprised and childish facial expression when his eyes met the girl. "Oh god, call 9-1-1. That girl by the window, shes not even breathing, is she?"

"Huh? －Oh. You buffoon that's our class doll, aren't you jealous?"

Her perfect poise immediately took an affect on the students of class B2. And before long, it looked as if they were all going to star in a ballet show. But she still stood out, with her pale crimson hair that traveled down halfway to her waist, and the creamy pale skin that only she could wear without looking out of style. Her naturally pouty lips were dyed in a divine vermilion, and the eyes that she tamed so well were a lively shade of amber with a golden hue, which were being put to use by staring out the window. Where was the comfort of her hospital bed?

Oh. What was this feeling? The undistinguished emotion shown on her face shifted into a confused expression as a feeling of longing stirred in her chest.

How strange.

磁器人形 ; Porcelain Doll

"Oh look at you, poor loner," The insincere voice of pity came from a girl that almost everyone knew. The Queen of the school, Saaya Yamabuki, an actress from the United Kingdom that moved to Japan for what was suppose to be a temporary filming. But because of a slight delay, she would have to stay in the school for at least two more trimesters. She was the lead actress of almost all of the plays and a gorgeous one at that, even if you didn't approve of her harsh personality and words that she spoke, you should still be able to agree about how lucky she was to be able to achieve the looks that she owned now. Even if plastic surgery did lend a hand.

"You don't have any friends, do you?" She inquired loudly, glad that the idiotic teachers had gone out for coffee, as her piercing chartreuse eyes attempted to pry open the doll's armor. A few seconds after when she received no response, her cackle of a laugh escaped. She lifted a hand to place near her mouth in a superior way. "Of course you don't, you antisocial brat. Porcelain doll? You've got to be kidding me." The actress giggled, leaning over to inspect her victim. "I really want," She whispered softly, pausing to take a whiff of the girl's hair, and began to giggle mockingly. "To break you."

Only a few minutes of silence passed before an irratated sigh escaped.

"For goodness sake, you guys are such cowards. What happened to all the gossiping about the 'stupid sadistic bitch that thinks shes better than everyone else because her dad pays people to make her famous'?" Saaya hissed and looked around the room to find the person who insulted her, only to see a girl in sunglasses. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, eyeing her backup. The blonde quickly stood up to her defense.

"Who are you? You don't even know anything about Saaya, so stop pretending to-" Lulu rambled, her eyes widening as she saw the sunglasses girl yawn and unravel her hair from the pigtails that she was sporting. And then the glasses came off as well, on their own. "Hoshina Ut- ?"

"Oh my. I've been discovered, haven't I?" The girl frowned. "How boring." Utau shrugged and got up to stretch, only to make her way towards the three. "You two," She decided to start the insult party on Saaya and Lulu first. "Are so cliche my ears burn from listening to the trash that leaks out of your mouths. I was almost ready to force you both to feast on the trash can itself." Saaya scowled and stomped a while to show her frustration before realizing that no one was going to support her. Lulu stalked right out of the classroom after the queen, looking around to glare at everyone except Utau. The blonde just smiled and waved, "bye guys, careful~" before turning back to Hinamori.

"And you," The girl didn't even move to look at her. Utau sighed and grabbed the doll's collar. "If you can sit like a princess with no care in the world, other than a bunch of clouds in the sky, then you can look at someone while they're talking to you!

"Are you so weak of a person that you can't defend yourself while someone is making a fool out of you? What are you trying to do? Live up to your 'doll' reputation?" Utau laughed sourly then released her grip to glare at the girl. "Then alright, I don't give a damn anyway. But it nauseates me when I see someone like you, at least show some dignity for yourself. Or, you know what, keep acting like a doll. And be used and broken like a doll."

The doll coughed. It wasn't long before a smile worn by only one that's seen it all appeared on her face. Utau arched an eyebrow, curious to hear the reason for the smile. Everyone else stayed silent, exchanging surprised looks with each other. The doll had smiled.

"But I've already been used. And my heart has already been broken."

It was then when the melancholy sound slipped into the classroom eerily.

A violin.

* * *

><p>AN: Gosh this is a horrible chapter. Please forgive me and my... that. ^ ;-;

REVIEW RESPONSES ;;

**Amuto4ev3r** | OHEMGHEEE WONDERFUL, THANK YOUUU :3 Updated for you ~ ~ ~  
><strong>amutoloveee<strong> | Lol I'm trying to get into my edgar allen poe mode. But right now I'm not feeling it. Damnehttt. But thank you anyhow C: that was really sweet ;A;  
><strong>Elettra Grace<strong> | Sweetheart. You're awesome. Updated c: I hope I didn't let you down too bad ;U;


	3. o3

A/N: Oh my gosh. I didn't expect so much reviews ;a; asdf I'm so selfish. Special thanks to MolliNaomi for being the best fan that I could ever wish for. Thank you for your outstanding encouragement. ;-; Thank you for everything, guys. This chapter is for you. (insertheartsymbol) We're taking a break from Amu and moving on to Ikuto's introduction.

Credits: The poem used for the chapter title is by Kathy Williams.

Other information: Remember Sion? Shes that girl that was Kukai's childhood friend. The waitress. c: Just a hint.

* * *

><p>Chapter three: <em>For the beaten child, who cries in pain, whose tears run silent, like the rain.<em>

"Ikuto, honey, please be reasonable. Your education is far more important than impressing half dead women at the hospital. Your stardom will soon blow out if you don't play your cards right, but at least then if you attend high school like a regular teenager, you'll be able to support yourself and your possible future family with a decent job that you'll obtain only IF you have a brain."

The seventeen year old male was inspecting his violin case, letting his pale cosmic latte fingers press themselves against the smooth arsenic dyed leather. He managed a carefree smile, before tilting his head and stabbing his mother silently with his piercing sapphire eyes.

"The day when my gratitude for my violin dies, is the day when I die myself." He sighed as he stood up to reach his destined height of six foot two, towering over his mother's five foot eight. The older woman frowned and crossed her arms, obviously reaching her limit. Her exasperated facial expression contorted into a disgusted one as she gave her son a once over. How did she ever give birth to such a revolting creature?

"I wasn't talking about your sick obsession with your violin," she snapped, her warm motherly facade vanishing from the face of the earth. "I was talking about your career, that only survives because of all the foolish teenage girls that only care about the appearances that you snatched from your father."

"I love the violin as much as my father did," Ikuto stated, his smile standing tall on his lips, ignoring the scars that his mother was slicing back open. He knew that his next words were going to aggravate her to no end, which meant that he would get a beating for them. Was he secretly a masochist? No. He only found bits of pleasure whenever his mother erupted in flames, or anyone in that manner. "Does that mean you think that he had a sick obsession with his violin as well?"

"Why, you little －!" The woman's nose flared as she crumpled her fingers into raging scarlet fists. Her mouth quivered slightly before she raised her hand to deliver the blow that would only make the boy stagger a little. Ikuto caught her wrist before she accomplished her mission.

"You wouldn't want to disappoint your husband, would you?" He asked smugly, reminding her of the promise that she made with her husband on the day he died. She would stop her horrid reputation, built by abusing her eldest child, Ikuto, ever since he was two. What was that called again...? Ah. Right. Child abuse. The male snickered, doing his best to cleanse his fear of his mother from his mind. From now on, it wouldn't be her terrifying him.

"You, old hag, shouldn't be talking about having a brain to me, when you don't have one yourself. Think about it. I'm older now, I'm taller, and more fit. And since I'm your son, we do share something in common." He hissed as he strangled her wrist. The woman stared at him in disbelief, not even bothering to wrestle her way out of his grip. "A lust for revenge."

"Don't be silly, you idiotic child. If you hurt me in any way, who do you think they'll believe? The strong, 'old' and reckless teenage boy, or the frail and too-old-enough-to-fight 'old hag'?" Her smile was all too satisfied.

He would never win.

And she knew that perfectly well.

"I can always call over Utau, and you know perfectly well who she'll stand up for. And, by the way, Yoru isn't a half dead woman."

磁器人形 ; Porcelain Doll

Ikuto grimaced when he saw the fingernail prints on his palm, as he opened the glass doors of the hospital, and ignored the stinging pain where his mother had dug in her nails too deep. The injuries would soon become numb, like the scars that were slashed against his stomach. But for her to do such a childish thing was solid evidence for her immaturity.

The young girl at the front desk recognized him immediately.

"Ikuto!" She grinned as she made her way out of the front desk, her pale chamoisee hair pin up in a rushed, loose bun. "I was wondering where you went, since you used to come here everyday. What happened to you these past few months?"

"Sion," he muttered, lacing his flexible fingers around the few strands of hair that fell slightly below her neck as she approached him. The girl bit her lower lip and glanced at him momentarily before casting her eyes downwards. He dropped his hand. "My mother kept me at the studio."

Sion's smile weakened. "Oh?" She laughed nervously as she took a step back, her body slightly stiff. "Well, I'm sure that she only wants the best from you."

"Yeah." Unrequited love was excruciating. Because he knew that he couldn't win her heart, since it belonged to her childhood friend. Kukai, was it? He sighed and ran a hand through his messy bedhead, before moving past her. Yoru would be waiting."Excuse me."

"Oh, okay." The waitress said quietly, her chest raging with guilty feelings. She wanted to spill a thousand apologies, but what would she apologize about? It was probably going to be best for her to leave to the cafe. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Maybe." Ikuto yawned, hoping to dust of all signs of disappointment, before disappearing into the nearest elevator.

磁器人形 ; Porcelain Doll

"Ikuto?" The delicate and childish voice belonged to a frail boy with wispy navy hair that matched the violinist's. His dim aureolin shaded eyes blinked a little as they drank in the older male's appearance. His hands quivered in delight. "Ikuto! You're finally here."

"Yoru, I missed you." The teenager laughed, playfully messing up the younger boy's hair, before taking a seat in the deformed bean bag. "How have you been?"

"Horrible. The pretty girl on the other side of the curtain disappeared," Yoru moaned, crystal clear tears welling up in his eyes as he brought up his fingers to his face. The red cuts were still visible. "I think they took her away."

"The pretty girl on the other side of the curtain...?" Ikuto raised an eyebrow as he tried not to wince at the sight of his cousin's palm, and began wondering if that other blue haired artist was in the hospital as well. The one that Yoru always used to talk about. "Ah, don't you mean that girl named Miki?"

"No, not Miki-chan. Shes an older girl, with funny pink hair..." Yoru whimpered, obviously thinking that they would take him away as well. "But she was always very nice to me. Whenever I was still hungry, she gave up some of her food for me. Her name starts with an 'A' though, I can remember that." The boy scrunched up his eyebrows in concentration, and ignored the older boy's show of amusement. "Oh, I remember now. Its Amu."

"Amu?" Ikuto frowned. Where had he heard that name before? "Ah! You mean, Hinamori Amu?"

"Yes!" The elementary student exclaimed, excited that the violinist knew of the girl. So maybe she wasn't taken away to die. "So you know her?"

Ikuto only smiled.

* * *

><p>AN: Okay. So. I know this chapter barely makes any sense, but you'll understand Ikuto's and Amu's relationship soon. Or something. o_o TROLOLO. So yeah, Ikuto isn't in love with Amu or anything right now. Because hes crushing on Sion, who likes Kukai instead. But of course I am a diehard Kutau. (Kukai x Utau.) SO. MWAHAHHAAAHAHAHHA. DRAMA. (I keep spoiling everything. XD)

REVIEWS RESPONSES:

**hi**, **anon**, **Amuto4ev3r, Ripplerose, Xxx Tamashi xxX, xXYoraXx **: I UPDATED FOR YOU GUISEEE! SO DON'T WORRY~ c: Thank you very much for your support!

**Mizuyomi Mizu-chan**: Awh, thank you love. c: I LURVE CLIFFFF HANGAAASZ. So, I wrote one for that chapter. And maybe this one... LOLOLO.

**utube**: OH MY GOD ITS YOU!1!1!1 OH MY GAWD. I REMEMBER YOU. I USED TO LOVE YOUR STORY, HEARTBREAK? OMG WHY DID YOU DELETE IT OAGX WHAT HAPPENED? OMG. I LOVE YOU.

YOU ARE MY IDOL ;-;

**MolliNaomi**: YOU ARE. THE BEST. FAN. I COULD. EVER. ASK. FOR. /MUAH. ILYYYYYYYYY. ASDDZGTAHA. You'd like more detail? ;o about what though? o.o


End file.
